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Thread: Official Joke of the Day Thread

  1. #471
    Senior Member bluecat's Avatar
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    Wow, 3 points...

    That CIA joke looks very suspicious Swamper.
    Man is not free unless government is limited. Ronald Reagan

  2. #472
    Senior Member Swamp Fox's Avatar
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    I spied it in a joke book in about fifth grade, and it's followed me ever since...

    When I'm strapped for a good joke, I can always tap that one.

  3. #473

  4. #474
    Senior Member Swamp Fox's Avatar
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    "Bummer of a birthmark, Hal."

    ----Deer that DOES get it

  5. #475
    Senior Member Swamp Fox's Avatar
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    A shy guy walks into a bar, sees a beautiful woman, and screws up the courage to approach her.

    “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” he asks.

    She responds by yelling, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!"

    Completely humiliated, he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman comes over and says, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. I’m a psych student studying how people respond to embarrassing situations. “

    To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean, $200?!”

  6. #476
    Quote Originally Posted by Swamp Fox View Post
    "Bummer of a birthmark, Hal."

  7. #477
    I farted on the bus this morning and four people turned around. I felt like I was on The Voice.

  8. #478
    Senior Member Swamp Fox's Avatar
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    A guy is sitting on his couch at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it out in the yard as far as he can.

    Three years later, he's sitting there again and there’s a knock at the door.

    He opens it and sees the same snail.

    The snail says, “What the hell was that all about?”

  9. #479
    Senior Member bluecat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Swamp Fox View Post
    A guy is sitting on his couch at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it out in the yard as far as he can.

    Three years later, he's sitting there again and there’s a knock at the door.

    He opens it and sees the same snail.

    The snail says, “What the hell was that all about?”
    Man is not free unless government is limited. Ronald Reagan

  10. #480
    Little Johnny and Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. "My Father is better than your Father!" Billy declared.

    "No, he's not!" Johnny responded.

    "My brother is better than you brother!" Billy said.

    "He is not! He is not!" Yelled Little Johnny.

    "My Mother is better than your Mother!" Billy continued.

    A long pause ensued, then Little Johnny said, "Well, I guess ya got me there. I've heard my Father say the same thing more than once !!"

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