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Thread: Official Joke of the Day Thread

  1. #551
    Bumper Stickers:
    *

    *Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass.

    *Everyone has a photographic memory ...some just don't have any film.

    *Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

    *I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

    *WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

    *Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

    *If you can read this...I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

    *Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

    *Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.

    *And The Number One Bumper Sticker you'd Like To See!!

    *Welcome to America ...now speak English
    *

  2. #552
    Senior Member bluecat's Avatar
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    Oh, those are beyond good!
    I write English not so well, but this thin string for sewing or fabric-making my funny wheel getickles. Baron von Schtupp

  3. #553
    Senior Member Swamp Fox's Avatar
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    LOL...My favorite of those is "Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted."...LOL


    Some of my own top picks:

    *Not all who launder are washed.

    *This car makes frequent stops...At your mom's house.

    *Fueled by hippie dust.

    and last but not least:



  4. #554
    Senior Member bluecat's Avatar
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    Yeah, those are great.
    I write English not so well, but this thin string for sewing or fabric-making my funny wheel getickles. Baron von Schtupp

  5. #555
    Senior Member DParker's Avatar
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    "Imagine whirled peas"
    Don't go ninja-in' nobody don't need ninja-in'.
    - Diemon Dave

  6. #556
    Senior Member Swamp Fox's Avatar
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    A classic...


    Another one I love:

    "Driver picks the music. Rider shuts his pie hole."

  7. #557
    Senior Member DParker's Avatar
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    "Grass, gas or ass...nobody rides for free."
    Don't go ninja-in' nobody don't need ninja-in'.
    - Diemon Dave

  8. #558
    Senior Member Swamp Fox's Avatar
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    That's why I don't hitchhike as much as I used to...LOL

  9. #559
    Senior Member bluecat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DParker View Post
    "Grass, gas or ass...they all stink."
    fify
    I write English not so well, but this thin string for sewing or fabric-making my funny wheel getickles. Baron von Schtupp

  10. #560
    Senior Member Swamp Fox's Avatar
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    Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly, dehydrated and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says, "Hey, Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."

    "Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon."

    With renewed hope the two struggle up the next hill and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

    There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double-smoked bacon ... Every imaginable kind of cured pork. Even Canadian bacon.

    "Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Ees a bacon tree!"

    "Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert, don't forget!"

    "Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...Ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!"

    And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 50 yards, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock.

    Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath: "Pepe... Go back, man! You was right...Ees not a bacon tree!"

    "Luis, Luis... Mi amigo... What ees it?"

    "Pepe.. Ees not a bacon tree. Ees...


    Ees...

    Ees...

    Ees...


    Ees... a ham bush!...."

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