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  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Hour Ago
    Thanks for that. I think Test Subject Number One after this will get a three-minute dunk and we'll go from there. There must be a lot less fat in a wing skin than in breast skin, for the weight or area, I bet. I can't image what I'd have to do to a breast to get the skin to be anywhere approaching "dry" with indirect heat. I guess a lot of times the top side of the skin skin might be dry but the underside is very wet, so I don't know if that really qualifies. I'm sure I've managed somewhat dry skin at some point, especially without a sauce, but I can't think of any time that the chicken wasn't directly over the fire.
    56 replies | 471 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    4 Hours Ago
    Update: I tried DP's suggestion to flash-fry a breast in my Presto deep fryer. (It's magic!) I cranked it up to 400 and sank a bone-in breast that had been marinated and mopped in the cooker. I let it swim for about 45 seconds, and Voila!--- This wasn't sufficient to crisp the skin. But I also had the breast skin-down in the basket because I didn't know if I was going to cover the whole breast or not. Next time, I'll sink it skin-up and see if that makes any difference. But I think I'll also have to increase the time. I will say the house smelled like a Chinese restaurant after that, though. Crispy duck? LOL I did the same with some mopped-and-smoked boneless pork chops, and that didn't give me any crust either, but then again, there wasn't any skin to crisp there anyway.
    56 replies | 471 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    4 Hours Ago
    P.S. About the best I ever do for that Black Label bacon on sale is 2-for-1, so still significantly more than pork tenderloin, which is $4.49-4.99 a pound, depending.
    12 replies | 116 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    5 Hours Ago
    Heck...I must be doing something wrong. I'm paying something like $8 for 12 oz. of Hormel Black Label when it's not on sale...Which makes it WAY more than twice what I pay per pound of pork tenderloin chops. When I look up "premium bacon" on the store's website, I see prices more like $3 and $4 a pound ($4.50 for premium turkey "bacon")...I think this calls for an investigation. Somebody doesn't know what premium bacon is, and I'm not saying it's not me...But I'm not saying it is me, either...LOL I deliberately was avoiding the question of the cost of time. Playing with fire and cooking meat is a pure reward...There is no cost exchanged for value...:grin: However, I AM once again disappointed in my prospects of ever justifying getting into reloading...LOL
    12 replies | 116 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    6 Hours Ago
    I haven't, but I'm interested. Work up a good brine and spend a little skinning and refrigerator time, and a couple hours in the smoker...It would be worth a few shots. The question is can you come out ahead compared to premium bacon on sale. They say the taste of homemade will be different because-- leaving special seasonings and flavorings aside--I don't think store-bought is actually smoked anymore. (Maybe some is). And I would think homemade is a bit less expensive than even on-sale bacon. I wonder if there's any chance you could get it to premium-quality in terms of the minimization of fat, though. (The reason I mention bacon on sale is that's about the only way I'll buy it any more. Has anyone else noticed the prices? Holy moly! We grow more pigs than anywhere else in the country, I believe, and the stores want almost twice as much for premium bacon as I pay for boneless pork tenderloin chops!)
    12 replies | 116 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    7 Hours Ago
    Nice! I'll be cranking up the catfish operation here shortly, myself.
    1 replies | 24 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    7 Hours Ago
    I distinctly remember when blinds with shoot-through mesh first came out that they were sold on the ability to shoot rifles through. I don't remember a little barrel port or any such. I am replaying a TV ad in my mind as I type. I wonder if anyone could find a vintage ad on youtube in their spare time and back me up. I'm not going to bother; at least that's my present inclination. Of course, it could be that my memory is faulty. But I remember what I remember!
    86 replies | 1307 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    11 Hours Ago
    A guy and his wife got a chance to take their dream vacation, a month living in France. They rented an apartment, made some day trips, got to know a lot of the locals and really soaked it all in. As their vacation was winding down and they faced the prospect of going home, they decided to throw a big dinner party for all their new-found French friends as a way of saying thank you and farewell. The afternoon of the party, they were getting everything ready for their friends to arrive in a few hours, when the wife realized she'd forgotten to buy snails for the evening meal. Unfortunately, it was a Sunday and all the shops were closed. She told her husband that he would have to go out to the woods to gather some, and handed him a plastic bucket. Muttering under his breath, the husband started walking down the road 'til he came to a country lane and asked a Frenchman where he might be able to find some snails, and the man pointed him toward the edge of some woods a short distance away. Sure enough, the husband began to find snails where he'd been told to look, and as he gathered them, he noticed a beautiful young French woman walking up the lane he'd just come down. Not for the first time during this vacation, he made a mental note of how exotic and sexy the French girls he'd seen seemed to be, and regretted a little the fact that he'd be leaving the country soon and would probably never see another French girl in his life. "Oh, well," he thought, and continued his snail hunt, eyes glued to the ground. Very shortly, his bucket was nearly full of snails and he turned to hike up to the road and was surprised to find the French girl standing there, watching him. "Bonjour, monsieur!" she said, greeting him with a bright smile. She told him how much she admired him for hunting his own snails, and they struck up a conversation. Before he knew it, they were walking back toward town together. When they came to her house on the outskirts, she invited him to have a glass of wine with her. Well, one thing led to another, especially after she batted her eyelashes at him, giggled and kissed him as they polished off the bottle, and soon things got hot and heavy. The guy couldn't believe his good luck, and afterwards he was so exhausted that he conked out and didn't awaken until early the next morning. "Holy...!!!" The guy jumped out of bed with a start and his heart in his throat, yelling, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!" He snatched up all his clothes, threw them on as fast as he could, grabbed his bucket full of snails, and ran out the door. He ran up the lane, then turned on the afterburners down the road all the way to his apartment. He flew up the stairs in such a hurry that when he got to the top, he tripped and spilled the bucket. There were snails all over the landing and all down the stairs. The door to his apartment opened just then, with his very angry wife standing in the hallway, screaming, demanding to know where he'd been all night and how could he ditch her party. He'd never seen her this mad, and that was saying something! His heart was about to beat out of his chest, and he could feel his mouth go dry. He looked at the snails all down the stairs, and he looked at her, then back at the snails, and he swallowed hard trying to catch his breath and croaked, "Come on, guys...We're almost there!"
    609 replies | 13185 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    12 Hours Ago
    LOL...:beer:
    609 replies | 13185 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Here's an even worse question:
    609 replies | 13185 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    609 replies | 13185 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    609 replies | 13185 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    I was kinda stuck somewhere in the vicinity of "They called him Big Tall John and he was a good cowboy, until the incident. After that he was Jack Squat."
    609 replies | 13185 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Yeah, I was trying to figure how to get a cowboy going by an Indian name all of a sudden, but I wasn't coming up with anything believable...LOL
    609 replies | 13185 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    There's a "Jack Squat" joke in there somewhere... And/or a joke about cowboy or Indian names. It's just not coming to me yet...LOL
    609 replies | 13185 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    It was springtime in the new Old West. The cowboys rode the muddy trails looking for cattle that survived the winter. As one cowboy came around a bend in the narrow trail, he came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine. The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake. "Hold on there, pardner," said the snake. "Don't shoot-- I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you want." The cowboy decided to take a chance. He said, "OK, first, I'd like to have a face like Clark Gable, then, I'd like a build like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and finally, I'd like sexual equipment like this here horse I'm riding." The rattlesnake said, "Alright, when you get back to the bunk house you'll have all three wishes." The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight inside to the mirror. Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Clark Gable. He ripped his shirt off and revealed bulging, rippling muscles, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Really excited now, he tore down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted... "Oh My God!... I was riding the MARE!"
    609 replies | 13185 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    LOL... "Ward, don't be too hard on the Beaver."
    609 replies | 13185 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    I could start a separate Texan-Slash-Cowboy Joke of the Day thread, except I'd be afraid of creating a monster...LOL I know Luv2 knows some good jokes...I can't believe he's not on here contributing.
    609 replies | 13185 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Sam has been self-employed for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He winds up his business and buys 50 acres in Montana as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there's a big, bearded man standing there. "Name's Lars ...Your neighbor from forty miles away....Having a birthday party Friday ... Thought you might like to come. About seven..." "Great," says Sam. "After six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some drinkin'." "Not a problem... After 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of 'em." Again, Lars starts to leave, but stops. "More'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too." Sam says, "Well, I get along with people, but I can hold my own. I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again Lars turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too." "Now that's REALLY not a problem," says Sam. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I bring?" Lars stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us."
    609 replies | 13185 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    "Hey, my eyes are up here." :insert Debating Whether To Embed South Park Videos emoticon here: :p
    609 replies | 13185 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    There was a midget down in Texas whose testicles hurt almost all the time. So he went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor got him to stand up on the examining table, told him to drop his pants, and started to look him over. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!" mumbled the doc and, as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor again, and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side, then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told him to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still bothered him. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer aching. The doctor said, "How does that feel now?" "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?" The doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."
    609 replies | 13185 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    "So who's having sex with the hen?"
    66 replies | 755 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    LOL... That would make Billy....Bugs Bunny?
    66 replies | 755 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    I don't know if most butchers have their own vacuum sealing machines or not. Maybe you'd have to find a specialty shop or a game processsor for this, but can you talk your butcher into injecting the meat for you before he vacs it, or waiting to wrap it until you've injected it yourself when you pick it up? I'm gonna guess you don't want to inject meat and then freeze it, so this would all have to be done fresh?
    66 replies | 755 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/MDOnBv0gCKg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>.....
    66 replies | 755 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    I might also try the marinade, just for something different. And this...
    66 replies | 755 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/KE4_xi9cv20" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> "Who wants to eat chiminichangas next year?" LOL
    66 replies | 755 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    I've often said a return to dueling culture could solve a lot of our problems...LOL
    66 replies | 755 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    "Pork belly" is really "side meat" in case that's part of the confusion.
    609 replies | 13185 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    Seriously, this is not a joke...:wink Here's what I found quickly...Start at 2:43...Kinda cursory, but you might get the idea. If you look for a pic of "back bacon" you'll see it's just a little tag of belly at the bottom of the loin meat. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/YgwtwzeeuGo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    609 replies | 13185 view(s)
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