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  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    Alexa reminds me that it's time to take the pork shoulder out of the sous vide bath and put it in the smoker. Either that or she's hitting on me....cheeky monkey.
    65 replies | 1707 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    And don't even get me started about the U.S.S. Enterprise constantly circling Uranus in search of Klingons.
    9 replies | 130 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    DParker replied to a thread In Memoriam ... in Podunk Corner
    I can't take him like that. It's against regulations!
    30 replies | 235 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    DParker replied to a thread In Memoriam ... in Podunk Corner
    Here -- he says he's not dead!
    30 replies | 235 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    Wait...you're telling me that a demographic that is disproportionately represented in urban populations is more likely to be exposed to pollutants that are present in higher levels in....urban environments? Stop the presses and get those folks a government research grant!!!
    1069 replies | 63095 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    DParker replied to a thread In Memoriam ... in Podunk Corner
    ????
    30 replies | 235 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    DParker replied to a thread turkey pot call in Podunk Corner
    17 replies | 260 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Whatever they were, they certainly made Ashes of themselves.
    1069 replies | 63095 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Trees are well known for being virulent racists.
    1069 replies | 63095 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    I'm more worried about catching Claud Cooper from Cleveland, who copped Carson's copper clappers.
    12 replies | 334 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    Cracker, please... <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lxxI4USXv4o?start=87" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    12 replies | 334 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    Hey, you knew we required adult supervision.
    12 replies | 334 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    OK, now it all makes sense.
    12 replies | 334 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    I'll see your political pillow and raise you another reason (as if anybody needed one) to not take the mouth-breathing window lickers at Vox or SJWs in general seriously. SJWs tackle the racist world of knitting Which prompts me to wonder: If I don't knit, am I permitted to address someone who does as, "My knitter!" Or must I go with, "My knitta'!" ?
    12 replies | 334 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    I know I was. So I walked to the bar and ordered another beer. Itch scratched.
    65 replies | 1707 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    It's quite liberating when you think to yourself, "I just ate a deep-fried chunk of beef fat...and that's OK."
    65 replies | 1707 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    3 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    3/4 lb chicken-fried smoked brisket smothered in burnt end gravy and sitting on a bed of mashed potatoes. Oh, and...beer. 'Murica.
    65 replies | 1707 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    3 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    Definitely not safe for work, but...funny.
    65 replies | 1707 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    3 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Sausage. in Podunk Corner
    38 replies | 710 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    3 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Sausage. in Podunk Corner
    Right. No cure needed. In fact it would be ill-advised. Do you have a vacuum sealer? They're great for several purposes, and can extend the freezer life of foods to as long as 2 years, or even more.
    38 replies | 710 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    3 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Sausage. in Podunk Corner
    Sort of. Curing doesn't have anything to do with smoking. It's used to remove moisture from the meat as a preservation technique, which also alters the flavor characteristics. But if you're just making regular sausage that will be refrigerated and fully cooked before being eaten then no cure mixture should be used. Making cured sausages (salamis and stuff like that) involves hanging them to dry cure exposed to air in a temperature and humidity controlled container of some sort for an extended period of time (days, weeks, months or even a year or more). You're not doing that, so don't add anything containing curing salts (sodium nitrite or sodium nitrate) to the meat. Just use whatever seasonings (herbs and spices) float your boat. Note that my treatment of curing here is a gross oversimplification of the subject, and if you're really interested in it there's a bit of reading to be done to ensure that you know what it's all about and do it safely. If you want to try it I highly recommend starting with something easier like bacon or pastrami. Cured sausages are a little more advanced, and I haven't even tried doing any myself as I still haven't managed to put together a proper curing chamber for it.
    38 replies | 710 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    3 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Sausage. in Podunk Corner
    I haven't had any problems doing that with them. I just can't tell you how they compare with natural casings. But follow the instructions they come with and they work fine.
    38 replies | 710 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    3 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Sausage. in Podunk Corner
    Well, you know what they say: "You gotta' dance with the one that braut ya'." I'm thinking you'd probably want to add a little more pork fat to the mix to offset the lean venison. Personally, I'd with just a hair under 1/2 lb of bacon, which will add not only needed fat, but bacony flavor goodness as well. As for casings, I've only ever used collagen, so I can't compare them to natural casings. They worked fine though.
    38 replies | 710 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    3 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    And a genius.
    65 replies | 1707 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    3 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    LOL! So not only did he leave a trail of easily traceable breadcrumbs by using his phone to text the brothers when recruiting them, he paid them for their part in the hoax....wait for it....with a check! Stop it....I'm gonna' pee! Oh, man...my sides are aching.
    65 replies | 1707 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    3 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    And I think that's likely going to be a much bigger problem for him. My guess is that he'll cop a plea with Chicago and get a relative slap on the wrist, at least compared to what he could and should get. But if the feds make a case on a a hoax terrorism threat through the mail, that will be a much harder thing to skate on. The USPS doesn't play.
    65 replies | 1707 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    3 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    Doh! It looks like Jussie is seriously hosed (and not in a way that he'd like). As expected, CPD got his cellular call and text records (along with a bunch of other solid evidence), which not only corroborate what the Nigerian brothers told them, but also contain details on Smollett recruiting them for the hoax...as well as....wait for it...past dealings in which one of them supplied him with ecstasy and other designer drugs. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Here is what Cook County prosecutors read in court just now - allegations against <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/JussieSmollett?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#JussieSmollett</a> <a href="https://t.co/QkVYoyqnDA">pic.twitter.com/QkVYoyqnDA</a></p>&mdash; Megan Crepeau (@crepeau) <a href="https://twitter.com/crepeau/status/1098678196973772800?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 21, 2019</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
    65 replies | 1707 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    3 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    LOL! Smollett's indictment by a grand jury was announced last night, and pretty much everyone who cared knew about it by around 8pm EST. But in a crack bit of journalistic work, CBS This Morning published a story this morning...over 13 hours after the indictment had been announced...claiming that: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/jussie-smollett-empire-nigerian-brothers-testimony-hail-may-call/ Nice work.
    65 replies | 1707 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    3 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    OK, now I get it. Our admin just stopped by to tell me that Peter Tork died today. RIP. So now we're down to just 2 Monkees left (Nesmith and Dolenz).
    1027 replies | 91858 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    3 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    If you haven't seen The Ballad of Buster Scruggs yet (and if you haven't, why haven't you?) then don't watch either of these videos, as you'll want to see the movie first. Seriously, I don't want to ruin anything for you. But both songs have been stuck in my head on-and-off for the past month since I saw it. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/I7TK2Ro2bdM" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe> <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lXna1a-806Q" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    1027 replies | 91858 view(s)
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About DParker

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58
About DParker
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TX, where the chili has no beans

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Don't go ninja-in' nobody don't need ninja-in'.
- Diemon Dave

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