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  • DParker's Avatar
    5 Hours Ago
    My story? OK...
    15 replies | 69 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    21 Hours Ago
    Bacon made using a gunpowder scale.
    62 replies | 1709 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    21 Hours Ago
    I use a calculator that computes cure ingredients by weight in grams to 2 decimal places. And although 0.1 gram precision is plenty of accuracy for nitrite dosing, the scale measures to 0.01 gram, so I went with the exact amount the calculator specified...because I could. Strike "espresso" and replace it with "strong coffee" if that'll help. :wink
    62 replies | 1709 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    {continued from previous post} Now that we have 3 doses of basic cure, it's time to start assembling some of our additives. The dry ingredients are all assembled, with two of them awaiting their wet components. One slab covered in chili cure and in the bag. All three slabs covered in savory cure goodness and ready for the fridge. From left to right, hot sauce, coffee and chili. We'll find out in a week (or two, if something comes up and I don't have time to do the smoking next Sunday) whether or not any of this was a good idea.
    62 replies | 1709 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Well, the venison pâté and heart thread didn't generate much interest, so... It's been a good 5˝ months since I made my first batch of bacon, and now I'm down to my last few slices. So I pulled my 12 lb slab of Costco pork belly out of the freezer yesterday morning and let it thaw. Feeling experimental, I decided to subdivide it into three 4 lb slabs and try a different recipe on each one. After much searching for inspiration I settled on the following flavorings: 1) "Chili", using smoked paprika, cumin and chili powder (no beans!). 2) Cracked black pepper, garlic, espresso and goji berries...because someone gave me some spices for Christmas, and it included goji berries, so...why the hell not? 3) A combination of "Backdraft Fire Sauce" and "Louisiana Habanero Hot Sauce". Each starts out with a basic cure (kosher salt, brown sugar and curing salt #1...aka sodium nitrite). First, we need to precisely measure the 4.53 grams of nitrite that each batch needs...which of course is a job for a gunpowder scale. This is some laboratory level stuff, so it's a good thing my quality assurance supervisor was keeping an eye on the operation, making sure I didn't screw anything up. The Cheapo Depot kitchen scale will do for measuring the kosher salt and brown sugar. {continued in next post}
    62 replies | 1709 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    At this point I'm thinking that the color in the processor is due to the red color on the outside of the liver chunks caused by the smoke ( I see it often when smoking small pieces of meat, like oxtail. Those are the thinnest pieces of liver. For some reason unbeknownst to me they turned a much darker color than the others.
    5 replies | 54 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    So here's an odd result. Normally the liver gets sautéed for 6-7 minutes and that's all it takes to fully cook it and turn it a light brown color all the way through. But after 90 minutes in the smoker at 225°F the exterior took on a two different shades of deep red... Combining it with the other ingredients in the food processor produced the following weirdness: It's fully cooked, but that color just doesn't work. So I scraped it all into a skillet over medium heat for a few minutes and that seems to have done the trick. The liver and smoke flavors are VERY strong, but it still has to chill in the fridge over night, so we'll see if that smooths things out just a bit.
    5 replies | 54 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    OK, great idea. Let's play with some new toys while we're at it. I finally got around to pulling Bambi's heart and liver out of the freezer and doing something with them. The heart was unrolled, trimmed, vac-packed and tossed into a sous vide bath at 157°F where it will stay until this time tomorrow and I try out one of my Christmas gifts on it. In the same vein (ha!) I decided to put a twist on the pâté this year, so the liver has been cleaned, cubed and put into the big smoker at 225°F. It'll cook and soak up mesquite fumes for the next 90 minutes. Then it'll be cooled, mixed with the other ingredients and turned into a tasty paste in my other new toy. Stay tuned.
    5 replies | 54 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Which goes a long way towards explaining why I've never seen a deer at any of the numerous ponds, creeks or other little bodies of water scattered throughout the woods I hunt.
    17 replies | 202 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    I couldn't find anything with all four elements in one, so this will have to do.
    23 replies | 336 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    What do you dunk those in? A glass of Clorox?
    23 replies | 336 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    It must be the wafer-thin mints they're eating.
    23 replies | 336 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    The even funnier thing? I can actually do that. It'd be really stupid...but I could do it.
    14 replies | 206 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    That was the first thing that popped into my head.
    14 replies | 206 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    LOL!
    34 replies | 490 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    34 replies | 490 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    It's ain't gonna' be pretty.
    34 replies | 490 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Only "almost'? Well then...proceed .
    34 replies | 490 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice...
    34 replies | 490 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    So the SJW stupidity wasn't quite turned up to 11 yet, and they're seeking to remedy that.
    194 replies | 8507 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    They need to check their higher-atomic-weight privilege.
    194 replies | 8507 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    That's why I now refer to everyone as "carbon units".
    194 replies | 8507 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    DParker replied to a thread I'm Not a Racist in Podunk Corner
    Mixed pop culture references. Mind blown.
    22 replies | 274 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    DParker replied to a thread I'm Not a Racist in Podunk Corner
    Speaking of the Dude... Jeff Bridges has revealed his $6.8 million house has been 'severely damaged' by the Montecito mudslides I'll bet it ruined his rug, which is a shame. It really tied the room together.
    22 replies | 274 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    DParker replied to a thread I'm Not a Racist in Podunk Corner
    22 replies | 274 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    DParker replied to a thread I'm Not a Racist in Podunk Corner
    Applying that same rule to the "Chewbacca Mask Lady" video gives us 6.25 million people. And the "Rings Prank" video? 25 million. And both of those were in their first 24 hours, not 48. I'm still trying to figure out what they had to say.
    22 replies | 274 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    Sorry, but I thought this was a union shop, and that only greeters with seniority were allowed on the floor when on the job.
    34 replies | 490 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    "What were you doing in there?" "Just shootin' the sh-t."
    450 replies | 35254 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    I don't have enough information to lean one way or the other, but I certainly wouldn't bet against you on this one.
    625 replies | 21804 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    This the woman who was just lauded for her #metoo empowerment speech at the Golden Globes (by the same crowd that openly defends...even celebrates...Roman "I like 'em under-aged and drugged-up" Polanski".
    302 replies | 9400 view(s)
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About DParker

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56
About DParker
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TX, where the chili has no beans

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Don't go ninja-in' nobody don't need ninja-in'.
- Diemon Dave

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