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  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Hour Ago
    I'm going with either "Luigi" or "Giuseppe". Did you remember to tell them "sono affamato"?
    153 replies | 1910 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    19 Hours Ago
    Yeah, I mean....look at the boooooooones!!!
    8 replies | 31 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    20 Hours Ago
    Both of my dogs went apoplectic, and were seriously pissed off at me when I refused to let them out.
    8 replies | 31 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    20 Hours Ago
    I'm interested strictly for practical self-defense purposes, as the Beast of Caerbannog has taken up residence in my back yard. (Full size: https://i.imgur.com/jdEOhbs.jpg) I nearly soiled my armor.
    8 replies | 31 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    20 Hours Ago
    ...on the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. Film fans get the chance to bid for some of the silver screen's most iconic props at auction The amount of my bid shall be three, no more, no less. Three shall be the amount I shall bid, and amount of my bid shall be three. Four shall I not bid. Neither shall I bid two, excepting that I proceed to bid three. Bidding five is right out! Then after the auction we'll all celebrate by going out for lambs, sloths, carp, anchovies, orangutans, breakfast cereals, and fruit bats.
    8 replies | 31 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    21 Hours Ago
    Yeah, that's too much of a target-rich environment not to have already attracted snipers.
    13 replies | 60 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    It's not so much that I could taste the coffee as an individual flavor per se, but I could definitely detect the subtle nutty bitterness that worked along with the mild heat from the ancho powder to balance out the sugars' sweetness. Google "coffee" and "rub" and you'll find a lot of recipes that incorporate it. This is just the first time I've gotten around to doing it myself, and I regret having put it off for so long.
    2 replies | 22 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    My local grocery store often has good sales on St. Louis cut pork ribs (usually being blown out for $1.49/lb vs the regular $3.49 price), so I've been grabbing several every time I can, and have been accumulating a pile of them in my freezer. I finally got an opportunity to pull one out (it was just for the wife and I...and our furry four-legged quality assurance team...so only 1 rack this time) and subject it to a sous vide bath followed by some time in the magic smoke box just to see how that works out. I also took the opportunity to experiment with a change to the usual pork rub I use (a simple mix of white and brown sugar, garlic powder, onion powder and paprika), as well as adding a bourbon treatment during the smoke...because, bourbon. I was happy as could be with the results of all three, and the only mistake was trying to treat the ribs like a pork shoulder by leaving them in a 165F bath for a full 24 hours. They were still juicy and delicious, but overly tender to the point that it was all I could do to keep the rack from completely falling apart when I transferred it to the smoker. I think the temp is food, but I need to back the time down to 12 hours instead. Next time. That said, the real success was with the rub tweak and the addition of bourbon to the party. I modified the rub by adding some ancho chile powder, cumin and espresso-ground coffee to the mix, which is exactly what the sugar-based rub needed to balance out the sweetness, as well as adding a lot more depth of flavor. Here's what I ended up with: - 1/4 cup white sugar - 1/4 cup dark brown sugar - 3 Tbsp smoked paprika - 1 Tbsp finely ground Texas Pecan coffee (from Katz Coffee, a local company) - 1 Tbsp ancho powder - 2 tsp onion powder - 2 tsp garlic powder - 1 tsp cumin powder You'll note a total absence of salt in the recipe. This is because I always season the meat with salt before it goes into the sous vide bag as a dry brine, usually a day or two ahead of time to give the salt time to penetrate. The addition of cumin, ancho and coffee completely changed the character of this mixture for the better, and I think it's going to be my go-to rub going forward. In fact I think I'll also try adding the ancho and coffee to my brisket rub (which already contains cumin), I like them so much. As if that weren't enough, I put some bourbon (nothing fancy, just some Even Williams 1783) into a little spray bottle that I used to spritz the ribs every 30 minutes during a 3 hour smoke. This not only keeps the surface moist and ensure that the smoke adheres, but it also adds more depth of flavor in the bargain. I don't like spraying with fruit juice given that the rub is already sweet enough, and plain water doesn't add any flavor, so bourbon does the trick quite nicely. Here's a plate with some of the resulting pig-on-a-stick, plus a deviled avocado (avocado flesh mashed with a chopped hard-boiled egg, garlic salt, a squeeze of lime and chopped scallions, all stuffed back into half an empty avocado skin and dusted with a little paprika on top): Full size: https://i.imgur.com/wVndltP.jpg
    2 replies | 22 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    1138 replies | 110032 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    'Murica.
    1138 replies | 110032 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    Brilliant. It manages to be both manly AND gay as hell all at the same time.
    1138 replies | 110032 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    6 Days Ago
    Did you bring your guitar?
    153 replies | 1910 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    That was below the belt.
    1138 replies | 110032 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    I guess someone has to.
    1138 replies | 110032 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    I wonder how ancient Pompeiians distributed the band t-shirts before the invention of the t-shirt air cannon. Ballistas? Though it seems like that would have been a bit rough on the fans.
    1138 replies | 110032 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Week Ago
    I'm a bit Jelly. We originally planned on taking a day trip from Rome to Pompeii, but had to cut it while we were there due to unplanned time constraints.
    153 replies | 1910 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    Actually, she lost quite a lot. When it was over she was just a ghost of her former self.
    153 replies | 1910 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    :tap:
    153 replies | 1910 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    I presume you're referring to Michael's marriage to Apollonia in Godfather II. Cool. Well...until she blew up, that is.
    153 replies | 1910 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    Is this a great country or what?
    1 replies | 51 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    It's always nice to be reminded from time-to-time that the U.S. hasn't cornered the market on social media morons. Instagrammers fall ill at 'idyllic' lake that is actually a toxic dump
    1161 replies | 84201 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread New scope in Podunk Corner
    Maybe the computer-generated Chinenglish reviews aren't so bad after all.
    24 replies | 333 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    I was rather disappointed by the lack of men dancing to bouzouki music though, as I too delight in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse.
    1161 replies | 84201 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    LOL! A little bitty pie shop just opened up last week at a location that's on my way home from work. Being the civic-minded supporter of small local business that I am I decided to stop by and grab a slice of flaky, crusty fruit-filled goodness to take home. Apparently they did a good job of getting the word out because the display case was quite clean, and was certainly uncontaminated by pie. Fortunately the 30-ish guy working the counter grocked the reference when I began interrogating him by rattling off the names of pies they were obviously out of, and played along. Finally he pulled out their last remaining slice of blueberry pie and boxed it up, thus preventing me from having to shoot him.
    1161 replies | 84201 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    Now that's funny.
    1161 replies | 84201 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    Meanwhile, at the West Baltimore Planet Fitness...
    1161 replies | 84201 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    I really like strudel, so I'm literally Hitler.
    1161 replies | 84201 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    Maryland man reels in record-breaking mahi mahi
    1 replies | 61 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    So it turns out that painting our mechanical slaves (machines that are created for the sole purpose of doing our bidding on command) white is racist. Robot racism? Yes, says a study showing humans' biases extend to robots So they think it would be better (or at least less racist) if more of the servomechanisms that were created for the sole purpose of doing our bidding on command were painted brown instead. Yeah, I'm sure that would be well received.
    1161 replies | 84201 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Weeks Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Flippin' the bird in Podunk Corner
    No...but wood is definitely involved.
    17 replies | 227 view(s)
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About DParker

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58
About DParker
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TX, where the chili has no beans

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Don't go ninja-in' nobody don't need ninja-in'.
- Diemon Dave

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