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  • bluecat's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    That and the fact he was the only one that could fold those swan napkins which he always left at the crime scene.
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    In a buffet sting operation police were able to catch the slasher, because he always carved against the grain.
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    People go bananas over Shonta's coconuts.
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Did she grip it by the husk?
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Have you seen Shonta's coconuts? You could poke your eye out.
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    He didn't think of it, stunned as he was by the sudden notion that coconuts might migrate.
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    You mean he didn't use the 16-ton weight for self-defense?
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Shonta hones her coconuts every night before she goes on stage .... If it's not coconuts, it's crossbows. It's always something ...
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    A sure way to confuse your attacker is to compliment their chef skills. Hey, is that an ice hardened Henkels bread knife? Nice! Be gentle.
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Honing a weapon only makes sense, but you should probably strop it away from the crime scene. Just sayin.
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    This is why no one takes the British seriously.
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Hey, any job worth doing is worth doing right.
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    A sure sign you are going to get attacked with a blade is when the perp stops and hones his chef knife first while you watch and wait for them to get the perfect edge on it.
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    How many chefs were shaken down to get all that contraband?
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    You laugh, but a honing rod in the neck is fatal.
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Of course the real threats here are the letter opener, the fencing foil, the honing rods and the spoon. https://twitter.com/MPSRegentsPark/status/1128259712984735744
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    Here, we haven't done one of these in a while... https://mobile.twitter.com/mpsregentspark/status/974645778558980096?lang=en&fbclid=IwAR1wUK-WrXWt611C816D1Ihfgla8OETzT1f-txNso9SoR67WWIUX-Pki87s
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    3 Days Ago
    I'm getting better...
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    LOL ... You should get an Iron Cross neck tattoo and a hog butcher's diagram on your inner forearm. That would be way cooler than the guy at the meat department at my Piggly Wiggly, who only has one of the two. Since noticing his, I have expanded my short list of people for whom it is acceptable to have tattoos to include butchers.
    115 replies | 3379 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    115 replies | 3379 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    bluecat replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    I think another reason is the smoking jacket and pipe that creeps them out.
    115 replies | 3379 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    That's why nobody invites me to hunt hogs on their ranches.
    115 replies | 3379 view(s)
  • crookedeye's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    that guy nos his hams and hocks..
    115 replies | 3379 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    bluecat replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    This is what DParker's archery target look like.
    115 replies | 3379 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    4 Days Ago
    bluecat replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    So after all the dry-aging and fussing around, you slathered it with A-1 and called it good?
    115 replies | 3379 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    I am talking to a small, quiet ---nearly mute, in fact--- group of scholars on a website called HuntingCountry or some such ... Let me check the address bar on my machine and I'll get back to you if I have somehow gotten turned around ....
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    Far be it from me to argue .... LOL ... but this is probably not true. Half-Polacks probably invented low-fat turkey kielbasa and fruit-flavored vodka. :wink :beer:
    115 replies | 3379 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    bluecat replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    Fantastic write up. You certainly do everything to the letter.
    115 replies | 3379 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Y'all want me to... in Podunk Corner
    True. But a half-Polack, such as myself, would finish drinking and then go to bed. There's a reason we don't have any major inventions to our credit. Anywho.... Dry aging beef is a somewhat complicated subject in that there are multiple different outcomes one can attempt to achieve, as well as multiple methods...and variations on those methods...one can employ to those ends. In the most general terms, the goal of dry aging is to enhance the meat's flavor as well as to tenderize it. At a minimum, the former is achieved via evaporation of internal water content, leading to a concentration of the existing "beefy" flavor. But depending on the exact aging method used, as well as the amount of time the meat is aged, other flavors may be produced as the result of slow chemical changes that occur within the meat, or even colonization of the surface by certain beneficial molds. These added flavors are often described as "nutty", "reminiscent of blue cheese" or even "funky, but in a good way". The latter...tenderization...occurs as enzymes within the meat work to slowly break down the connective tissues. For safety's sake, the home dry ager is generally restricted to the pursuit of basic flavor concentration and some tenderization. As of late, that is most popularly done using a frost-free refrigerator and special bags sold by the Umai Dry company. These bags are made from a material that bonds to the surface of the meat and acts as a semipermeable membrane, allowing moisture to escape and air to pass through in both directions, but blocking the introduction of spoilage (and alas, beneficial) microorganisms. Development of the more exotic flavors requires extended periods of time in special...and usually expensive...storage units that are precisely controlled for temperature and humidity, and extra precautions to prevent infection by nasty microscopic critters that would destroy your substantial investment in meat, time, electricity and equipment. So my goal was just what I could realistically achieve in the home kitchen: Strongly flavored ribeye steaks that are even more tender than they were when they left the store. In this, my first foray into the world of home dry aging, I was successful in the former to the extent I was expecting. In the latter, I was less successful. The final product did indeed have a flavor that I can only describe as tasting like a ribeye, only significantly more intensely so. Sort of like...you take a bite of a normal steak and it says to you, "Hello, please allow me to introduce myself. I'm Mr. Ribeye, and for the duration of your meal I'll be delighting your tastebuds with tender, beefy goodness." But you take a bite of a dry aged steak and it says, "I'M A RIBEYE, M-F-ER, AND I'M GONNA' BE ALL UP IN YOUR TASTEBUDS!!!" (Read that 2nd one in Samuel L. Jackson's voice for the full effect.) But for whatever reason, none of us found the meat to be noticeably more tender than the ordinary non-dry aged versions we usually have. That's especially disappointing considering that this was a USDA Prime graded cut, and not only was it extremely well marbled, it was actually excessively so. I don't know what went wrong there, as every thing I've read...including actual legit research on the subject...says that the tenderization effect is fully realized within about 30 days or so, and this one went 42 days. So, was it worth it? If I were to decide that based on just this one attempt I'd have to say, "No". But I'm not prepared to draw such a drastic conclusion just from one less-than-amazing result. When we finish the 5 remaining steaks I'll likely be trying this again...perhaps with a less fatty Choice graded cut rather than Prime. But fridge space is precious, and I have to get another batch of bacon curing first. When that's done...we'll see.
    115 replies | 3379 view(s)
  • crookedeye's Avatar
    5 Days Ago
    swampy who are you talking too???
    1118 replies | 71657 view(s)
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