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  • bluecat's Avatar
    2 Hours Ago
    Chuckle, chuckle
    1091 replies | 57257 view(s)
  • The Old Man2's Avatar
    2 Hours Ago
    A contractor dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand. Just when he thinks things can't possibly get any better, Saint Peter himself runs over, apologizes for not greeting him personally at the Pearly Gates, shakes his hand, and says, "Congratulations son, we've been waiting a long time for you." Totally confused and a little embarrassed, the contractor sheepishly looks at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I tried to lead a God-fearing life, I loved my family, I tried to obey the 10 Commandments, but congratulations for what? I honestly don't remember doing anything really special when I was alive.""Congratulations for what?" says Saint Peter, totally amazed at the man's modesty. "We're celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old! God himself wants to see you!" The contractor is awestruck and can only look at Saint Peter with his mouth wide open. When he regains his power of speech, he looks up at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I lived my life in the eternal hope that when I died I would be judged by God and be found to be worthy, but I only lived to be forty." "That's simply impossible son," says Saint Peter. "We've added up your time sheets."
    1091 replies | 57257 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    15 Hours Ago
    LOL!
    1091 replies | 57257 view(s)
  • The Old Man2's Avatar
    17 Hours Ago
    A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
    1091 replies | 57257 view(s)
  • billy b's Avatar
    17 Hours Ago
    Looks to me like Jon has been working on the chickens:omg:
    86 replies | 1289 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    23 Hours Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    23 Hours Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    23 Hours Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    23 Hours Ago
    It looks like that chicken on the left was caught mid-dance step. It all does look delicious though. I've been slacking, and am going to have to go on a smoking tear when we get back from the other side of the pond.
    86 replies | 1289 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Oh yeah, it was as good as it looks. And I was using hunks of cherry and pecan that were as big as CrookedEye's head. Chickens were brined for 24 hours and were juicy after a 4 hour smoke. Brisket went 10 hours and was the best brisket I ever ate. Put a nice homemade rub on it and let it sit in the refrigerator for a day.
    86 replies | 1289 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Swamp Fox replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    McGrath is pronounced "McGraw" in this song. Song and Ballad – Master McGrath Eighteen sixty eight being the date and the year, Those Waterloo sportsmen and more did appear; For to gain the great prizes and bear them awa', Never counting on Ireland and Master McGrath. On the twelfth of December, that day of renown, McGrath and his keeper they left Lurgan town; A gale in the Channel, it soon drove them o'er, On the thirteenth they landed on fair England's shore. And when they arrived there in big London town, Those great English sportsmen all gathered round - And one of the gentlemen gave a "Ha! Ha!" Saying, "Is that the great dog you call Master McGrath?" And one of those gentlemen standing around Says, "I don't care a damn for your Irish greyhound," And another he laughs with a scornful "Ha! Ha! We'll soon humble the pride of your Master McGrath." Then Lord Lurgan stepped forward and said, "Gentlemen, If there's any among you has money to spend - For your grand english nobles I don't care a straw - Here's five thousand to one upon Master McGrath." Then McGrath he looked up and he wagged his old tail, Informing his lordship, "I know what you mane, Don't fear, noble Brownlow, don't fear them, agra, For I'll tarnish their laurels," says Master McGrath. And Rose stood uncovered, the great English pride, Her master and keeper were close by her side; They have let her away and the crowd cried "Hurrah!" For the pride of all England – and Master McGrath. As Rose and the Master they both ran along, "Now I wonder," says Rose, "what took you from your home; You should have stayed there in your Irish domain, And not come to gain laurels on Albion's plain." "Well, I know," says McGrath, "we have wild heather bogs But you'll find in old Ireland there's good men and dogs. Lead on, bold Britannia, give none of your jaw, Stuff that up your nostrils," says Master McGrath. Then the hare she went on just as swift as the wind He was sometimes before her and sometimes behind. Rose gave the first turn according to law; But the second was given by Master McGrath. The hare she led on with a wonderful view. And swift as the wind o'er the green field she flew. But he jumped on her back and he held up his paw "Three cheers for old Ireland," says Master McGrath. I've known many greyhounds that filled me with pride, In the days that are gone, but it can't be denied, That the greatest and the bravest that the world ever saw, Was our champion of champions, great Master McGrath.
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Swamp Fox replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    I'll post this for my best buddy, Kevin, who would appreciate it if he were here ... LOL: <iframe width="854" height="480" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vf4emisRCvI?list=RDvf4emisRCvI" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_McGrath
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Swamp Fox replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/xa566QvOpWE" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe> LOL ... X3
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Swamp Fox replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    Imagine walking in to the Piggly Wiggly and seeing your kinsman looking back at you from the wine rack ... It was a show-stopper the first time, but I have since adjusted ...
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    We needed more audience participation ...
    1091 replies | 57257 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    LOL ...+3
    1091 replies | 57257 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Swamp Fox replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    Let me go <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/B4v6aNjGFFk" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe> Body of an American <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/q97IfBOIR5Q" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe> Sick Bed <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/9rQyAvTHFK0" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Swamp Fox replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    Now we're talkin'. If one of my Irish rebel kin can get his 1860's British prison photo on a wine bottle sold in American stores in the 20-teens--after being sentenced to death for treason, getting commuted to "transportation" (deportation) and 20 years hard labor in Australia and then escaping to America to go on to great things--it would be a relatively simple matter to snag some tepid lake water from sleepy auld Scotland and smuggle it back to the States. :wink
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    DParker replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    Well, I already have one request for a vial of water from Loch Ness, so....why not?
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Swamp Fox replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    Well, we can see that you already have the gift of blarney, so you can take what you were going to spend on acquiring that and redirect it to some knicknacks for your cyber-buddies. A square of the Old Sod (tell U.S. Customs I said it was alright); stone from a castle; a bit of Connemara marble; some Viking shit: It's all good, and they won't miss it ... LOL It's not like you'll be stealing posters in North Korea ...
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
  • The Old Man2's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    I can't believe you guys let this thread go 5 months without a post.
    1091 replies | 57257 view(s)
  • The Old Man2's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    A couple were invited to a costume party but had no costume. The guy says " I still have my khakis from when I was in the service. You wear the shirt and I'll wear the pants. We'll be an upper and lower GI."
    1091 replies | 57257 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    By "familiar posters" you really mean "the same old knuckleheads", don't you ? You're just too polite to say so. :-) Welcome back, and good luck with the grandbaby.
    1 replies | 10 view(s)
  • The Old Man2's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    The Old Man2 here. I used to be just plain The Old Man. After I retired last June I sort of lost touch with the forum and have since spaced out my password. The email I registered with before was my work email and that has since been deactivated so I can't ask to reset it. So I guess I'll have to be my second self now. Anyway, I am enjoying retirement, have since moved to be closer to our daughter just 30 miles away, and am impatiently awaiting the birth of our fourth granddaughter who is only 2 days overdue so far. Its good to see the familiar posters here. I won't commit to be here much but will be glad to be able to stop in once in a while. Thanks for being here!
    1 replies | 10 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Swamp Fox replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    Again. No apologies ... :grin: <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/i3V-oXwCWL4" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Swamp Fox replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/FafW_oo7aVw" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe> ....
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Swamp Fox replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/93r_hIpgFpo" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe> ....
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Swamp Fox replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    Hey, CE-- I need your thoughts on this. If everyone involved in this video got fifteen dollars an hour--disregarding Stefani's fee---would that be too much? <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/0uljUDtv1Kw" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe> :pop: These guys would have loved the 1970's equivalent of $15 an hour. Gone nuts, even: <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/I_2D8Eo15wE" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Swamp Fox replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    Hang in there until at least the feckin' nail in the heel ... LOL Pretty impressive for 5 AM at a wedding reception ... :wink:grin: <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/l033fNzFT1w" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    2 Days Ago
    Swamp Fox replied to a thread Friday music vids in Podunk Corner
    I'd put in a request but I'm pretty sure it would be illegal, at least in most countries ...
    976 replies | 68786 view(s)
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