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  • DParker's Avatar
    28 Minutes Ago
    LOL! Did he at least bag the doe?
    84 replies | 1250 view(s)
  • Wild Bob's Avatar
    36 Minutes Ago
    Random thought / observation: (in regards to ground blinds with shoot through windows) This past fall, my youngest son and I were hunting some river bottom lands looking to fill his doe tag. This was during rifle season; he was shooting a .308 Win, and we were sitting in my Ameristep Brickhouse blind. He had several does come within range over the course of the afternoon, but each time, they were not in a good position or near the little shooting port holes. After several hours of this, with our frustration growing...he asks me if they come back, or another doe shows up, can he shoot through the screen window... Well, I think it over a minute and I say to him, "Well, they're made to shoot through with bow, but let me kick that around a little more...just see what happens first." After another 45 minutes or so, out comes a couple decent does, and they feed / mossy over within range. He is on them with the scope, and asking me, "Can I take the shot? Can I take the shot?" In the heat of the moment, and against my better judgement, I say, "Yea, go ahead." BOOM!!!!! The whole inside of the blind puffed up and instantaneously settled back down as the concussion occurred / expanded the air in there. I thought it felt like the hat on my head shifted a little too. -It was without a doubt the loudest freaking report I have ever heard in my life!!! I look over at him, and he's looking at me with this pained expression on his face, as my ears were screaming and ringing, both of us momentarily deaf it seemed. We laugh about it now, and we learned the hard way for sure...those screen windows; only shoot through them with broad-heads, not rifles! (By the way, it shredded the screen pretty badly too.)
    84 replies | 1250 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    39 Minutes Ago
    BTW, I'm contemplating using half of the 10 lb pork belly to make some homemade bacon (no sous vide involved with that one). Has anyone here done that before?
    5 replies | 27 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Hour Ago
    Tasty, tasty sin....
    5 replies | 27 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Hour Ago
    A guy and his wife got a chance to take their dream vacation, a month living in France. They rented an apartment, made some day trips, got to know a lot of the locals and really soaked it all in. As their vacation was winding down and they faced the prospect of going home, they decided to throw a big dinner party for all their new-found French friends as a way of saying thank you and farewell. The afternoon of the party, they were getting everything ready for their friends to arrive in a few hours, when the wife realized she'd forgotten to buy snails for the evening meal. Unfortunately, it was a Sunday and all the shops were closed. She told her husband that he would have to go out to the woods to gather some, and handed him a plastic bucket. Muttering under his breath, the husband started walking down the road 'til he came to a country lane and asked a Frenchman where he might be able to find some snails, and the man pointed him toward the edge of some woods a short distance away. Sure enough, the husband began to find snails where he'd been told to look, and as he gathered them, he noticed a beautiful young French woman walking up the lane he'd just come down. Not for the first time during this vacation, he made a mental note of how exotic and sexy the French girls he'd seen seemed to be, and regretted a little the fact that he'd be leaving the country soon and would probably never see another French girl in his life. "Oh, well," he thought, and continued his snail hunt, eyes glued to the ground. Very shortly, his bucket was nearly full of snails and he turned to hike up to the road and was surprised to find the French girl standing there, watching him. "Bonjour, monsieur!" she said, greeting him with a bright smile. She told him how much she admired him for hunting his own snails, and they struck up a conversation. Before he knew it, they were walking toward town together. When they came to her house, she invited him to have a glass of wine with her. Well, one thing led to another, especially after she batted her eyelashes at him, giggled and kissed him as they polished off the bottle, and soon things got hot and heavy. The guy couldn't believe his good luck, and afterwards he was so exhausted that he conked out and didn't awaken until early the next morning. "Holy...!!!" The guy jumped out of bed with a start and his heart in his throat, yelling, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!" He snatched up all his clothes, threw them on as fast as he could, grabbed his bucket full of snails, and ran out the door. He ran up the lane, then turned on the afterburners down the road all the way to his apartment. He flew up the stairs in such a hurry that when he got to the top, he tripped and spilled the bucket. There were snails all over the landing and all down the stairs. The door to his apartment opened just then, with his very angry wife standing in the hallway, screaming, demanding to know where he'd been all night and how could he ditch her party. He'd never seen her this mad, and that was saying something. His heart was about to beat out of his chest, and he could feel his mouth go dry. He looked at the snails all down the steps, and he looked at her, then back at the snails, and he swallowed hard trying to catch his breath and croaked, "Come on, guys...We're almost there!"
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • billy b's Avatar
    2 Hours Ago
    You do know that's a sin don't you????
    5 replies | 27 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    2 Hours Ago
    I'm stealing this one! :grin:
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    3 Hours Ago
    LOL...:beer:
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • The Old Man's Avatar
    3 Hours Ago
    As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember: *1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People." *2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary. *3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. *4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone. *5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. *6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood. *7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too. *8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house. *9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can. *10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid." *11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building. *12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite." *13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex. *14. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • The Old Man's Avatar
    3 Hours Ago
    "I NO COME WORK TODAY" !!! Hung Chow calls into work and says, Hey, boss, I no come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach-ache and my legs hurt, I no come work. The boss says, You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that. Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon........You got nice house!
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    16 Hours Ago
    You're damned right I am. :p
    5 replies | 27 view(s)
  • billy b's Avatar
    16 Hours Ago
    Are you gonna boil it all????:grin:
    5 replies | 27 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    17 Hours Ago
    Costco just opened a new store right next door to the office building I work in, so I decided to pop in and get a replacement membership card (I lost my old one a while ago). Then I decided to walk back and check out the meat section...and before I knew what was happening I was putting... 3.76 lbs of pre-cut beef short ribs 6.36 lbs vac-pac uncut rack beef short ribs 10.4 lbs vac-pac slab of pork belly 3.3 lbs beef flat iron steak ...into my truck. Stay tuned...more adventures in sous vidin', smokin' and grillin' to come.
    5 replies | 27 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    20 Hours Ago
    Here's an even worse question:
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    23 Hours Ago
    How did you get your truck into the kitchen?
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    23 Hours Ago
    Y'all are a bunch of sexist, woman objectifiers. You can ask my wife but she is naked and vacuuming out my truck right now.
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    This thread is now Don Draper approved.
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Sadly, those were the days where men were men and woman baked cookies until it was time to not bake cookies.
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • DParker's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Wasn't that the closing line from their pilot episode, "The Honeymoon"?
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Built like a Hoyt but shoots like a Mathews? Disclaimer: Any bow brands represented in this joke are purely coincidental and fictitious. No boat anchor or overly priced waffle maker was harmed in the creation of this joke.
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    I was kinda stuck somewhere in the vicinity of "They called him Big Tall John and he was a good cowboy, until the incident. After that he was Jack Squat."
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Yeah, I was trying to figure how to get a cowboy going by an Indian name all of a sudden, but I wasn't coming up with anything believable...LOL
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    "Rides like a girl?"
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    There's a "Jack Squat" joke in there somewhere... And/or a joke about cowboy or Indian names. It's just not coming to me yet...LOL
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    In today's world that's a quick fix. The good news is that he can go into any bathroom he wants now.
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    It was springtime in the new Old West. The cowboys rode the muddy trails looking for cattle that survived the winter. As one cowboy came around a bend in the narrow trail, he came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine. The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake. "Hold on there, pardner," said the snake. "Don't shoot-- I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you want." The cowboy decided to take a chance. He said, "OK, first, I'd like to have a face like Clark Gable, then, I'd like a build like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and finally, I'd like sexual equipment like this here horse I'm riding." The rattlesnake said, "Alright, when you get back to the bunk house you'll have all three wishes." The cowboy turned his horse around and galloped at full speed all the way to the bunk house. He dismounted on the run and went straight inside to the mirror. Staring back at him in the mirror was the face of Clark Gable. He ripped his shirt off and revealed bulging, rippling muscles, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Really excited now, he tore down his jeans, looked at his crotch and shouted... "Oh My God!... I was riding the MARE!"
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • bluecat's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    "But June, the boy has to learn how we do things in our house."
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
  • Swamp Fox's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    LOL... "Ward, don't be too hard on the Beaver."
    609 replies | 13001 view(s)
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